Lists

Life is just a bunch of lists when you think about it. You have a list for everything you do in a day, in a week, in a month. You even have a list when you’re doing nothing. 1) Do nothing. It can be a bit suffocating. Scratch a bit, EXTREMELY suffocating. This is what day-to-day life can feel like for someone with anxiety or depression. There’s an extremely long list that you feel like you’re never going to get to the bottom of. The only difference the ones with anxiety are stressing to figure out how to finish it all, while the ones with depression think they can’t finish it so what’s the point. As someone with both, it can make life pretty confusing. Some days I work a mile a minute and have an anxiety attack when I take too long of a break, and on others I can barely find the motivation to get out of bed and do the bare minimum. It’s an awful, endless cycle. I feel like that’s what Biff felt like. Maybe that’s the reason he wanted to go out West so bad and work on a farm. Sure he’d still have a list, but it’d be one that he dictated and created, not one given by a supervisor or some boss. Willy never finished his list, he never even got close. That’s why when his time was coming to an end he knew he had to do something, plant something, leave something. Because he had accomplished nothing. Lists are the reality of life. They’re never ending and sad and depressing, but you still get a little spark of hope every time you check an item off. And that little spark of hope, that sense of accomplishment, is all you need to carry on to the next item.