Child Abuse: Too Much Attention

Milkman's mother in Song of Solomon is obsessed with having children. Because of her domestically abusive household, she must find things to control in her life, like the "single flaw on the splendid wood" (Morrison 11) of her dining table. But her reach for control goes so far that she desires children for the sheer purpose of controlling their lives. While we were discussing this topic in class on Friday, I started to wonder, is this a form of child abuse? Abuse is heavily talked about in Song of Solomon, as it is very prevalent in the African American community, so it is only fitting that the main character of this novel be subject to some form of abuse. Neglect is a recognized way of child abuse, but what about too much attention? We've all heard about those helicopter parents who monitor and control their kids every move, and the parents who live vicariously through their children and make them do activities that they're not interested in. These parenting mindsets cause emotional harm to their children, may it be becoming a control freak themselves, or never figuring out their passions in life, these children are emotionally changed forever because of the actions of their parents. It makes sense that this would be considered abuse, as it's not fair to the child. Yet, this is so prevalent, every third parent in the world would have to be charged with child abuse if that was the case. The fact that this parenting style is so common is normalizing the idea that children don't matter, it is the parents that control them that do. It is necessary to recognize that children are their own people, with personalities and interests and hobbies, that cannot be tied down by their parents wishes. Milkman really breaks out of that stigma, because in spite of his mother and fathers overwhelming presence over him, he grows up to become his own person, and shows the success story that can come from abuse.